A model of Spiritual Growth

1. Quiet the mind, i.e., quiet the voice of the ego which is characterized by fear, anxiety, blame-seeking (emphasized in Buddhism and Yoga)
2. Open the heart or change the heart by eliminating the bitterness blocking the expression of agape (emphasized in the Gospels as the metanoia and often mistranslated as repentance)
3. Unite the mind with the heart so all intrapsychic divisions are healed
4. Transform your relationships, relationships understood here in the broadest sense of the word so one lives in harmony with the Universe

In order to share your soul with someone, you need humility and a friend you can trust 100%. It's difficult at first, but soon you will be able to open up and talk openly about your problems, weaknesses and you will be able to receive criticism.

By being who you really are, you are making a gift of yourself and at the same time, you give your love to the other person. You help your partner by showing them your own human weakness. You will end up helping each other and will learn about humility and understanding.

By sharing with them your desire to see your true self, you will be showing them a truth they could not see until now. When they tell you your faults, listen calmly. At first you may think it is not true and you may be hurt, yet if you listen to the truth a new door may open to your self-evaluation.

I think it would be better for you to concentrate on asking the Holy Spirit to help you see your true self, rather then spend time in prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit for insight into your true self and to give up the distorted view of yourself you may have acquired over the years.

I am not good at this, understanding who I really am. I would like a good friend to talk to and for them to share with me too. I think I am not as successful at sharing who I am as I could be.

April 1st 2010.

April 1st 2010.
Sil Leaving dream

I woke up, having been asleep.
It was in the early morning hours.
Sil was sneaking out.
She left an envelope on a file cabinet.
It was filled with thoughts and words of support for me, something I can rely on when needed.
There was a loud knock on the door
I watched her leave the dark room into the light.



April 1st 2010.
Waiting at the border.

I was waiting at the border, for the border to open.
The border was a military border.
It was cold and dark, fences and barbed wire everywhere.

Two immature soldiers were there, waiting too.
I invited them in to sit in my car.
One sat in,with a face mask on.
He looked at me, but we didn't talk.
He said I was a fool for going.

I was reflecting on my mission.
Was I called to go?

All my military stuff was gone, since I been out of the military for a while.
Gas mask, M109 pistol, etc.
Finally I got a pistol. Not mine, but it was good enough.
I knew I really didn't need my military equipment.
It was not that kind of mission,
but I felt I might have to do battle.

I was sitting down looking at all my things for the trip.
A guy came by and asked me if I had everything I needed.
Unconscionably I knew I had everything I needed.
It wasn't about the physical things, but my mental fortitude.
All I needed was myself. The pistol was only a thing for comfort, like a teddy bear for a young child.
I did not really need it.
I had everything I needed and I was ready to go.