April 1st 2010.

April 1st 2010.
Sil Leaving dream

I woke up, having been asleep.
It was in the early morning hours.
Sil was sneaking out.
She left an envelope on a file cabinet.
It was filled with thoughts and words of support for me, something I can rely on when needed.
There was a loud knock on the door
I watched her leave the dark room into the light.



April 1st 2010.
Waiting at the border.

I was waiting at the border, for the border to open.
The border was a military border.
It was cold and dark, fences and barbed wire everywhere.

Two immature soldiers were there, waiting too.
I invited them in to sit in my car.
One sat in,with a face mask on.
He looked at me, but we didn't talk.
He said I was a fool for going.

I was reflecting on my mission.
Was I called to go?

All my military stuff was gone, since I been out of the military for a while.
Gas mask, M109 pistol, etc.
Finally I got a pistol. Not mine, but it was good enough.
I knew I really didn't need my military equipment.
It was not that kind of mission,
but I felt I might have to do battle.

I was sitting down looking at all my things for the trip.
A guy came by and asked me if I had everything I needed.
Unconscionably I knew I had everything I needed.
It wasn't about the physical things, but my mental fortitude.
All I needed was myself. The pistol was only a thing for comfort, like a teddy bear for a young child.
I did not really need it.
I had everything I needed and I was ready to go.